A monologue from the play by Joseph Addison

  • NOTE: This monologue is reprinted from The Drummer; or, The Haunted House. Joseph Addison. London: M. Dodsley, 1765.
  • ABIGAIL: Sure never any Lady had such servants as mine has! Well, if I get this thousand pounds, I hope to have some of my own. Let me see, I'll have a pretty tight girl -- just such as I was ten years ago (I'm afraid I may say twenty). She shall dress and flatter me -- for I will be flattered, that's positive! My Lady's cast suits will serve her, after I have given them the wearing. Besides, when I am worth a thousand pounds, I shall, certainly carry off the steward -- Madame Vellum -- how prettily that will sound! Here, bring out Madame Vellum's chaise -- nay, I do not know but it may be a chariot -- it will break the attorney's wife's heart -- for I shall take place of every body in the parish but my Lady. If I have a son, he shall be called Fantome. But, see Mr. Vellum, as I could wish. I know his humor, and I will do my utmost to gain his heart.