THE SPELLIN' BEE
A monologue by Paul
Laurence Dunbar
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NOTE: This monologue is reprinted
from Modern Literature for Oral Interpretation. Ed. Gertrude
E. Johnson. New York: The Century Co., 1920. |
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- I never shall furgit the night when father hitched up Dobbin,
- An' all us youngsters clambered in an' up the road went bobbin'
- To school where we was kep' at work in every kind o' weather,
- But where that night a spellin'-bee was callin' us together.
- 'Twas one of heaven's banner nights, the stars was all a-glitter,
- The moon was shinin' like the hand o' God had jest then lit
her.
- The ground was white with spotless snow, the blast was sort
o' stingin';
- But underneath our roundabouts, you bet our hearts was singin'.
- That spellin'-bee had be'n the talk o' many a precious moment,
- The youngsters all was wild to see jes' what the precious
show meant,
- An' we whose years was in their teens was little less desirous
- O' gittin' to the meetin' so's our sweethearts could admire
us.
- So on we went so anxious fur to satisfy our mission
- That father had to box our ears, to smother our ambition.
- But boxin' ears was too short work to hinder our arrivin',
- He jest turned roun' an smacked us all, an' kep' right on
a-drivin'.
- Well, soon the schoolhouse hove in sight, the winders beamin'
brightly;
- The sound o' talkin' reached our ears, and voices laffin'
lightly.
- It puffed us up so full an' big 'at I'll jest bet a dollar,
- There wa'n't a feller there but felt the strain upon his
collar.
- So down we jumped an' in we went ez sprightly ez you make
'em,
- But somethin' grabbed us by the knees an' straight began
to shake 'em.
- Fur once within that lighted room, our feelin's took a canter,
- An' scurried to the zero mark ez quick ez Tam O'Shanter.
- 'Cause there was crowds o' people there, both sexes an' all
stations;
- It looked like all the town had come an' brought all their
relations.
- The first I saw was Nettie Gray, I thought that girl was
dearer
- 'N' gold; an' when I got a chance you bet I aidged up near
her.
- An' Farmer Dobbs' girls was there, the one 'at Jim was sweet
on,
- An' Cyrus Jones an' Mandy Smith an' Faith an' Patience Deaton.
- Then Parson Brown an' Lawyer Jones were present--all attention,
- An' piles on piles of other folks too numerous to mention.
- The master rose and briefly said: "Good friends, dear
brother Crawford,
- To spur the pupils' minds along, a little prize has offered.
- To him who spells the best tonight--or't may be "her"--no
tellin'--
- He offers ez a jest reward, this precious work on spellin."
- A little blue-backed spellin'-book with fancy scarlet trimmin',
- We boys devoured it with our eyes--so did the girls an' women.
- He held it up where all could see, then on the table set
it,
- An' ev'ry speller in the house felt mortal bound to get it.
- At his command we fell in line, prepared to do our dooty,
- Outspell the rest an' set 'em down, an' carry home the booty.
- 'Twas then the merry times began, the blunders, an' the laffin',
- The nudges an' the nods an' winks an' stale good-natured
chaffin'.
- Ole Uncle Hiram Dane was there, the clostest man a-livin',
- Whose only bugbear seemed to be the dreadful fear o' givin'.
- His beard was long, his hair uncut, his clothes all bare
an' dingy;
- It wasn't 'cause the man was pore, but jest so mortal stingy.
- An' there he sot by Sally Riggs a-smilin' an' a-smirkin',
- An' all his children lef' to home a-diggin' an' a-workin'.
- A widower he was, an' Sall was thinkin' 'at she'd wing him;
- I reckon he was wond'rin' what them rings o' hern would bring
him.
- An' when the spellin'-test commenced, he up an' took his
station,
- A-spellin' with the best o' them to beat the very nation.
- An' when he'd spell some youngsters down, he'd turn to look
at Sally,
- An' say: "The teachin' nowadays can't be o' no great
vally."
- But true enough the adage says, "Pride walks in slipp'ry
places,"
- Fur soon a thing occurred that put a smile on all our faces.
- The laffter jest kep' ripplin' roun' an' teacher couldn't
quell it,
- Fur when he give out "charity" ole Hiram couldn't
spell it.
- But laffin's ketchin' an' it throwed some others off their
bases,
- An' folks 'u'd miss the very word that seemed to fit their
cases.
- Why, fickle little Jessie Lee come near the house upsettin'
- By puttin' in a double "kay" to spell the word
"coquettin'."
- An' when it come to Cyrus Jones, it tickled me all over--
- Him settin' up to Mandy Smith an' got sot down on "lover."
- But Lawyer Jones of all gone men did shorely look the gonest,
- When he found out that he'd furgot to put the "h"
in "honest."
- An' Parson Brown, whose sermons were too long for toleration,
- Caused lots o' smiles by missin' when they give out "condensation."
- So one by one they giv' it up--the big words kep' a-landin'
- Till me an' Nettie Gray was left, the only ones a-standin',
- An' then my inward strife began--I guess my mind was petty--
- I did so want that spellin' book; but then to spell down
Nettie
- Jest sort o' went ag'in my grain--I somehow couldn't do it,
- An' when I git a notion fixed, I'm great on stickin' to it.
- So when they giv' the next word out--I hadn't orter tell
it,
- But then 'twas all fur Nettie's sake--I missed so's she could
spell it.
- She spelt the word, then looked at me so lovin'-like and
mello',
- I tell you 't sent a hundred pins a-shootin' through a fello'.
- O' course I had to stand the jokes an' chaffin' of the fello's,
- But when they handed her the book I vow I wasn't jealous.
- We sung a hymn, an' Parson Brown dismissed us like he orter,
- Fur, la! he'd learned a thing or two an' made his blessin'
shorter.
- 'Twas late an' cold when we got out, but Nettie liked cold
weather,
- An' so did I, so we agreed we'd jest walk home together.
- We both wuz silent, fur of words we nuther had a surplus,
- 'Till she spoke out quite sudden like, "You missed that
word on purpose."
- Well, I declare it frightened me; at first I tried denyin',
- But Nettie, she jest smiled an' smiled, she knowed that I
was lyin'.
- Sez she: "That book is yourn by right"; sez I:
"It never could be--
- I--I--you__ah--" an' there I stuck, an', well, she understood
me.
- So we agreed that later on when age had giv' us tether,
- We'd jine our lots an' settle down to own that book together.
MORE MONOLOGUES BY PAUL LAURENCE DUNBAR |
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