THE MAN WHO MARRIED A DUMB WIFE
A monologue from the
play by Anatole France
|
NOTE: This monologue is reprinted
from The Man Who Married a Dumb Wife. Trans. Curtis Hidden
Page. New York: John Lane Co., 1915. |
|
|
LEONARD: My wife is dumb. Quite dumb. I admit, I noticed
it before we were married. I couldn't help noticing it, of course,
but it didn't seem to make so much difference to me then as it
does now. I considered her beauty, and her property, and thought
of nothing but the advantages of the match and the happiness
I should have with her. But now these matters seem less important,
and I do wish she could talk; that would be a real intellectual
pleasure for me, and, what's more, a practical advantage for
the household. What does a judge need most in his house? Why,
a good-looking wife, to receive the suitors pleasantly, and,
by subtle suggestions, gently bring them to the point of making
proper presents, so that their cases may receive--more careful
attention. People need to be encouraged to make proper presents.
A woman, by clever speech and prudent action, can get a good
ham from one, and a roll of cloth from another; and make still
another give poultry or wine. But this poor dumb thing Catherine
gets nothing at all. While my fellow judges have their kitchens
and cellars and stables and store-rooms running over with good
things, all thanks to their wives, I hardly get wherewithal to
keep the pot boiling. You see, Master Adam Fumée, what
I lose by having a dumb wife. I'm not worth half as much. . .
. And the worst of it is, I'm losing my spirits, and almost my
wits, with it all. When I hold my wife in my arms--a woman as
beautiful as the finest carved statue, at least so I think--and
quite as silent, that I'm sure of--it makes me feel queer and
uncanny; I even ask myself if I'm holding a graven image or a
mechanical toy, or a magic doll made by a sorcerer, not a real
human child of our Father in Heaven; sometimes, in the morning,
I am tempted to jump out of bed to escape from bewitchment. Worse
yet! What with having a dumb wife, I'm going dumb myself. Sometimes
I catch myself using signs, as she does. The other day, on the
Bench, I even pronounced judgment in pantomime, and condemned
a man to the galleys, just by dumb show and gesticulation!
MORE
MONOLOGUES BY ANATOLE FRANCE |
